Thursday, 30 November 2017 - 17:04
Michael Clarke reveals his struggle to play on after death of his friend Phillip Hughes


Former Australian Test captain Michael Clarke says he struggled to play on after the death of his friend and teammate Phillip Hughes and should have retired in 2014.
Clarke eventually retired in 2015 after the final Test of the Ashes series against England in August.
"I shouldn't have played another game. My career should have stopped then. It was too hard for me," he said.
"It took me a lot longer to grieve his loss than it should have, or that I would have liked.
"I didn't allow myself to grieve at the time because I had the responsibility to his family, firstly, but then also as Australia's cricket captain to my teammates and getting us back out onto the field."
Clarke said after Hughes died, he felt fear for the first time while playing cricket.
"My greatest strength as a small boy growing up and all through my career was that I was never scared. The faster they bowled, the easier it would be to score. I liked batting without a helmet on occasions; they'd bowl at your head and I'd love playing the hook or the pull shot.
"Even if it was just my subconscious, when I lost one of my best mates playing the game that we love, I think my subconscious worked out that you can actually die playing this sport. Even if it was the smallest bit of fear, you can't play at the highest level like that."
Clarke toured the West Indies in June 2015 which he said was a mistake.
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